Recognise your shadow

Recognising your own shadows take's looking and getting interested in three things....

Deny about yourself

You can identify your shadows by looking at what you project onto others. When you deny a trait in yourself, you tend to be very aware of that trait in other people. In the twelve-step tradition, they say, "If you spot it, you got it." This means that you are most aware of those traits in others which reflect your own shadows. You may react irrationally to one of these traits in someone else, becoming unduly annoyed and blowing things out of all proportion.

Admire in others

You can also notice the traits which you admire the most in others. Who do you look up to? Who are your idols? We often project our golden shadows onto others, and get stars in our eyes, because these people represent the qualities we have disavowed in ourselves out of a false sense of modesty. You could say that we paint other people with our shadows, for better and for worse.

Doing by accident

Another way to spot your shadows is to look for things you find yourself doing by accident. No matter how hard you try to keep your bag sealed, your shadows may leak out in a way that seems beyond your control. For example, you may promise yourself that you're going to spend more time with your family, when you actually spend more time at work. You may find yourself jumping into a questionable relationship, when you know that this person isn't right for you. You may ignore your own rules about eating, smoking or drinking. When you repeat a pattern of behaviour involuntarily, it is a sign that your shadow is running the show.

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